The quality of your stakeholder relationships can indeed make or break your business. Alexis Grewan (Head, Professional Development) shared valuable insights and tips on how to consciously manage your workplace relationships during a recent webinar, using Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis.

 We all have three states present in us, each with a positive and negative value – Parent (critical, nurturing = values/judgement), Adult (logical, rational = facts) and Child (natural, adapted = feelings). The interaction of the different states can lead to discomfort. The ideal is for the Adult states to reign as it leads to fair, level-headed interaction. Adults don’t feel threatened and they elicit Adult behaviour in others. There is also room for the Parent and Child states at times, if used appropriately, focusing on their positive values.

Tips for freelancers

• Pause – Silence is golden. Think and prepare for this conscious lifelong learning process.
• Check your ego state – What and how do you say things? What are your triggers? Are you in the Parent or Child state?
• Access your Adult ego state – Protect yourself, find the tools to manage the situation and defuse potential conflict.

For more insights, read Eric Berne’s book “Games people play” and take note of his quote, “Whatever you do, think of the next morning’s headlines.”